When Team Members Don’t Listen: A Leader’s Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Engagement

Introduction

Every leader has been there—giving direction, setting expectations, and watching their team members nod in agreement… only for nothing to happen. The task doesn’t get done. Deadlines are missed. Or worse, the attitude from the team turns passive, dismissive, or resistant. It’s frustrating, demoralizing, and—if it goes unchecked—can spiral into disengagement and a toxic culture.

But before jumping to the conclusion that your team is lazy, insubordinate, or lacks discipline, there’s one place you should always start: you.

Because if your team isn’t listening, the first question is, “Am I being clear?” The second: “Am I being the kind of leader they want to follow?”

1. The Root Cause: Is it Performance or Motivation?

When team members aren’t listening or following through, you’re likely dealing with one of two problems: a performance issue or a motivation issue.

• Performance issue: They don’t know how to do what you’re asking. This is a skill or knowledge gap.
• Motivation issue: They know how, but they don’t want to.

Identifying which is at play is step one. And here’s the thing—many leaders misdiagnose the problem. They assume it’s laziness or defiance, when it’s often unclear direction, inconsistent follow-up, or unmet psychological needs that are the true issue.

2. The Leadership Matrix: A Visual Guide

To help you diagnose and decide how to lead each individual, here’s a simple 2x2 matrix:

This matrix isn’t just about having or creating ability, it’s about creating and sustaining energy and drive within the team. The combination of performance and motivation tells you what tool to use: training, encouragement, realignment, or release.

3. Autocratic to Transformational: The Necessary Mindset Shift

The default reaction when people don’t listen? More control. More directives. More rules. That’s the authoritarian trap. And while it may generate short-term compliance, it kills long-term trust and innovation, ultimately harming retention.

Instead, embrace a servant leadership mindset:
- Listen before leading.
- Understand their blockers.
- Inspire action, don’t demand it.
- Others before self

Transformational leaders shift from telling to teaming—from power over people to partnership with people.

4. Maslow’s Hierarchy at Work

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs explains human motivation in five levels:
1. Physiological (basic needs)
2. Safety (job security, predictability)
3. Belonging (culture, connection)
4. Esteem (recognition, growth)
5. Self-actualization (fulfillment)

Levels 1 & 2 are likely being met. However, levels 3, 4, and 5 are likely being missed.

When someone resists or shuts down, ask yourself:
- Do they feel safe? (Level 2)
- Do they feel seen? (Level 3)
- Do they belong? (Level 3)
- Do they believe their work matters? (Level 3 & 4)
- Are they given opportunities to be stretched in their role? (Level 4)
- Are high-performers striving for more or doing work on their own (level 5…where we want all our team members)

A leader’s job isn’t just to assign work—it’s to remove fear and replace it with clarity, care, connection, and an opportunity for more.

5. Practical Tools for Rebuilding Trust and Ownership

- Re-clarify expectations in writing after a meeting
- Ask open-ended questions (“What’s getting in the way?”)
- Use the 80/20 feedback rule: 80% listening, 20% direction
- Recognize wins early, often, and tailored to your team member (privately or publicly)
- Reconnect work to the mission and vision or the organization (tip: when someone does, or does not do something connected to the mission or vision, ask them how what they did/did not do connected to the mission, vision, or core values).
- Use one-on-ones to ask and listen, not just collect updates

Most importantly, download and use the 1-Page Leader Guide (1PLG). It’s a simple diagnostic tool that helps you get beneath the surface quickly and start building back clarity, connection, and accountability.

Download it for free on the bottom of the resources page at: https://www.mogulperformance.com/coaching-vs-consulting-me-1

Final Thought

When your team stops listening, don’t get louder—get clearer.

Leadership is not a volume problem. It’s a vision and values alignment problem. Be the leader who listens, adapts, and leads from a place of grounded clarity.

And if someone doesn’t want to align? That’s okay. Not every seat is right for everyone. Leadership is also about helping people find the right bus—or get off the wrong one.